action + joint post ✪ out of some sentimental gain -- i wanted you to feel my pain

[herotypical]

[ buffy and spike have been out a-missioning -- only it hasn't gone quite as...merrily as they might have hoped. you see, they’re back a little early. spike decided to make an escape attempt and, in doing so, he’s brought malnosso justice down on both their heads. it’s all terribly unfair.

their punishment? one doozy of a bodyswap. spike is buffy and buffy is spike. and neither of them are too pleased about it.

sartre once claimed that 'hell is other people'; however, a situation like this makes a convincing argument that hell is, in fact, being other people. after they argue their way out of a proverbial wet paper bag and manage to find better clothing than the new feather garb they're initially given, they'll be available (throughout the next few days) to be mocked or sympathized with or awkwardly avoided all around town, depending on the individual.

find top comments below for either buffy's thread or spike's thread or -- if you’re looking for a thread with both of them -- buffy and spike. buffy’s tags will come from deadhero and spike’s tags will come from heroatypical. please don’t hesitate to tag all three options if that’ll float your boat. ]

Comments

[heroatypical]

You have a problem, mate?

[He glares over--- no, up at the sailor. He doesn't fancy being stared at, especially in this new state. He's not a slab of meat or what have you.]

[abidinglaw]

[He makes a quick recovery. He's been preparing for this.]

I am sorry, I thought you were someone else.

[heroatypical]

Buffy Summers, right? Sorry to disappoint.

[Still, he tilts his head. Squinting. Doing all he can to look entirely uninviting and unfriendly. It doesn't quite work on this face.]

[abidinglaw]

[He gives her -- or him -- the face that says there had been a joke there somewhere.]

Are you indeed?

[heroatypical]

Sorry to be is more specific, right?

[To be Buffy, that is. Worst possible swap. Except for possibly Angel.]

[abidinglaw]

Very droll.

[A pause. He steps forward, advancing on the slight girl.]

If I found out that you had a hand in this--

[heroatypical]

Well then, here's you bloody finding out. I had a hand in it. A great big sodding hand in it. Arranged an escape from this place. Got ourselves captured and swapped. So then. What do you intend to do about it?

[He steps forward as well.]

[abidinglaw]

[Well. That was very forthcoming of him.]

You will find that I am very good at waiting.

[Until they swap back. Until he finds some sort of spiky wooden thing. He is certain that Buffy would approve of an end to him.]

[heroatypical]

What then? Fancy yourself a vampire slayer? I'll tell you right now. I've taken down two of the real things. You think you have a chance?

[This? Not Jack. Spike has no reason to hold back on him.]

[abidinglaw]

[He has dispatched zombie pirates and fish people. His aim with a sword is true, too. Wooden swords are not unprecedented in this place. In all, he thinks highly of his chances.

But when his thoughts turn to chances, he is forced to confess that he has not been liberal with the chances extended to this man. And it is difficult for him to argue with Buffy's body without feeling the slightest ounce of sympathy.]

Look, you have to understand that this is very troubling.

[He is not apologizing for himself, exactly, but opening the door for the emergence of dignity from this exchange. Buffy would have granted it to him. Old habits.]

[heroatypical]

Troubling? Is that what it is? Well thanks, mate. Hadn't quite worked that part out for myself yet.

[He crossed his arms but at least backed up a few steps. Mostly because he was tired of craning his neck up at the admiral.]

[abidinglaw]

[Regardless of its motivation, the gesture does not go un-noticed. Something in Norrington's expression shifts -- though it does not grow any warmer.]

I am told that your ilk are lacking in souls. In all, I suppose an accompanying deficit of empathy is to be expected.

[heroatypical]

Likely. Mercy isn't quite one of our specialties either. Best not to push your luck.

[With so hostile an encounter, Spike did not feel compelled to mention he did in fact have a soul.]

[abidinglaw]

[In his more pitiful moments the dastardly Jack Sparrow can be heard to remark on this very point -- that the true Buffy Summers is so very full of mercy. How strange to regard this doppleganger now. With all the strength of a Slayer, and none of the ethics, Norrington is growing concerned with what this fool might do. Not to James himself, but to others who deserved mistreatment less than he.

But when he had spoken to Buffy herself, the vampire-slayer had noted that she had spoken with Spike at length the night he had landed here. She had caught him up on her life in Luceti, filled him in on the who and the where of the place. Why ever would she do that to this creature, and why admit it publicly? There must be something that Norrington was overlooking. If there were any redeeming qualities to be glimpsed behind that posturing he had not spied them yet.]

I am not so certain. From what I understand of vampires, they hunt and kill for sport. I went so far as to threaten you, yet here I stand. But do not mistake me. I doubt that this is a reflection of your own mercies. No doubt it is Miss Summers' influence.

[He meant that her body was restraining the vampire somehow - that some vestige of the slayer's soul must linger still. Or else perhaps Spike feared her.]

[heroatypical]

Is that what you think? Buffy's got me on a leash or something?

[It wasn't too far from the truth. But not entirely the whole case. Either way, it served only to make him more irate. If Norrington pushed it, he might just punch him to prove a point.]

[abidinglaw]

I do not remember having said that, no.

[But Spikey did, and that spoke volumes.]

pretend this icon isn't supposed to be romantic

[heroatypical]

It was implied. [He jabbed a finger in Norrington's chest.]

Question is, mate, are you man enough to test it?

[abidinglaw]

[Norrington did not look scared. He did not even look hostile.

From the look of him, what he felt was pity.]

I do not wish to fight Buffy Summers.

[heroatypical]

[He could have tolerated disdain, anger, disgust, or even outright mockery.

Pity, not so much. Not being called Buffy Summers. Which is why Spike immediately threw a punch to Norrington's left cheek. He did so with the kind of strength he saved for humans. Only that was with vampire strength. His slayer strength was scaled up quite a bit.]

Buffy Summers isn't here.

[abidinglaw]

[James Norrington had learned a lot of useful things about Spike. He learned just how to weaken him, just how to niggle at him, and he gained a glimpse at what the man valued. He did not doubt that each of these points of data would prove to be assets, but more important than any of them was the tip, however abstract, into what Spike feared. Later he would nurse his damaged face with this knowledge. He had needed to know. He had needed to know in order to defend the people who he loved from this man. A vampire.

Norrington was fast. Fast enough to dodge a punch thrown by most people. Buffy Summers was faster. The admiral saved his cheek at the cost of his nose and the socket of his left eye. That tiny fist hit him like a thunderclap and he staggered back in shock. The momentum of his withdrawl was already carrying him, but his legs gave out and he dropped to one knee. He did not look up, but choked out a burst of laughter.]

Thank you, Spike.

[He spat the name, and with it, blood. Already his nose was bleeding. Over his lips, and backward, into his mouth. He did not dare investigate it with his fingers.]

[heroatypical]

[A laugh. That managed to peeve him off even more. But he recognized he'd hit Norrington far harder than he intended. Which was the main factor of why he decided to back off.

And leave. Spike began to turn, though he had one last comment before he started walking away.]

Looks like I hit like a girl now. Bully for me.