action + joint post ✪ out of some sentimental gain -- i wanted you to feel my pain

[herotypical]

[ buffy and spike have been out a-missioning -- only it hasn't gone quite as...merrily as they might have hoped. you see, they’re back a little early. spike decided to make an escape attempt and, in doing so, he’s brought malnosso justice down on both their heads. it’s all terribly unfair.

their punishment? one doozy of a bodyswap. spike is buffy and buffy is spike. and neither of them are too pleased about it.

sartre once claimed that 'hell is other people'; however, a situation like this makes a convincing argument that hell is, in fact, being other people. after they argue their way out of a proverbial wet paper bag and manage to find better clothing than the new feather garb they're initially given, they'll be available (throughout the next few days) to be mocked or sympathized with or awkwardly avoided all around town, depending on the individual.

find top comments below for either buffy's thread or spike's thread or -- if you’re looking for a thread with both of them -- buffy and spike. buffy’s tags will come from deadhero and spike’s tags will come from heroatypical. please don’t hesitate to tag all three options if that’ll float your boat. ]

Comments

[heroatypical]

Twice. Bloody hell.

"And the second time?"

[deadhero]

"Not a swap, per se. Just -- people turning into things and other people. Someone turned into me. It was like having a twin. A very poorly dressed twin. I wasn't affected -- bully for me."

[heroatypical]

"So who was it then?"

[deadhero]

"Why the big urge to find out, huh?"

Another clumsy dodge. Hell, her -- his -- voice practically cracked.

[heroatypical]

"Well you had no problem mentioning this first girl, did you? So why not this other one?"

[deadhero]

"Because I'm fairly convinced you don't want to hear anything else about Jack Sparrow," and she wrinkled her nose at the sound of his name on this voice. Even Spike's natural tone seemed to disparage it. It wasn't at all like saying his name in her own voice.

She also tried to pin the dodge on him -- you don't want to hear it -- when the real reason was that she didn't want to tell it.

[heroatypical]

"Jack." He let the name hang in the air as the indignation settled. She may not have said it was him directly, but he could connect the dots. "You mean that dreadlocked nancy has already paraded around in your body and then he feels he has to up and leave?"

[deadhero]

"It wasn't my body. I was still in my body. It was..."

It was as good as, really. In the end. And it had given him untold advantages over her. Or, at the very least, it had put her at a disadvantage.

And worse? Spike was possibly right. Buffy couldn't blame Jack for leaving -- and it had eased some of the tension in the house -- but she couldn't love him for it, either. She'd asked for a promise: no more running away. His exit had just about flirted with the cusp of running.

"Come on," she murmured, "it's not like you wanted him to stay, anyway."

But I did.

[heroatypical]

"Am I glad he's gone? Too right I am. But you deserve better than that, don't you?"

[deadhero]

"...He's not as bad as he comes across at fi--"

Why was she defending him? Hadn't she already resolved not to? "He'll be back. In a few hours he'll realize how much of a lummox he's been. No harm. No foul."

It was important to tell herself these things.

[heroatypical]

"If you say so." To Spike, that was a man who hated Spike's face more than he loved her. Or at least, it's how he justified putting Jack down some more.

"But I don't expect to be seeing him while I look like this."

[deadhero]

"He'll probably opt to stay on the Joanna Joyce. After all? Pirate. I don't know. Maybe it's easier with him gone. Just for now."

And she immediately felt guilt for voicing that opinion. Double-guilt for voicing it in front of Spike.

[heroatypical]

"For him, maybe."

And for her, perhaps. Hell, he just didn't think much of Jack for leaving so soon.

[deadhero]

"Please. Put yourself in his boots for, like, three seconds..."

A dangerous dare -- a gambit, really. But she made it all the same. "Wouldn't you leave too? Bide your time. Wait until you could approach me alone?"

Why are you always around when I'm miserable?

'Cause that's when you're alone.

[heroatypical]

"Right now I'm busy being in your boots. But that's not the point, is it? You're a girl who deserves not to have to be alone."

He always found her when she was alone. But if they were together...

Well. He'd never give her time for alone to sink in.

[deadhero]

Raw emotion tugged at her expression. She met his eyes -- her own eyes, startlingly green from this angle -- and forced Spike to watch the sudden onslaught of feeling as it crept across his own features.

She wished she could tell him that this was out of character for Jack Sparrow. That running wasn't a thing he always did. But...

"Who has time to be alone? Full house. Full village. It's like Cheers. Everyone knows your name." It wasn't the kind of alone he'd meant and she knew it. "All I can say is that he makes me unbelievably happy -- whether he's here right now or not."

[heroatypical]

If he had more familiarity with his own face, it might come across as creepy or startling. But it may as well be a stranger's face for how little he had seen it in the past hundred years.

"You're right. I don't believe it."

[deadhero]

"Spike." Dry and crackling with a warning. Clearly, she didn't appreciate her hyperbole being so easily word-warped. "I'm not gonna fight to make your believe it. That'd be condescending to the both of us. But I'm a big girl -- it's not your job to approve of who I date or don't date. And it's not my job to explain it to you."

Her voice wasn't accusatory. She understood that Spike wasn't asking her to explain a damn thing.

[heroatypical]

"Only because I'd kick your ass."

He didn't fancy more fighting either. Or seeing her cry, much less in his own body.

[deadhero]

"...Please. Don't even tempt me."

[heroatypical]

"I've a hundred years of experience, pet. And now, the full Slayer package. Careful. I might decide I like it."

[deadhero]

"I'm not afraid of...me." But perhaps she should be. "Besides, worst case scenario? You might have to decide you like it. There's always the slim chance this'll never actually be reversed."

[heroatypical]

"Maybe Willow will fancy a new girlfriend."

Lightly. Yet horrified under the skin. Never would he want to be stuck like this.

[deadhero]

"You wouldn't..."

Surely, some things were sacred. Friendship, for one of them. But perhaps what made her lid flip the most was the hovering implication that Spike would even for a moment consider anything...intimate. With her body. And anyone else's body.

"Slayer package or not? I'd kick your ass. My ass. Whatever. Ass would be kicked."

[heroatypical]

"I'd just about owe it to her. I disappointed the poor girl when I wasn't able to bite her four years ago."