action + joint post ✪ out of some sentimental gain -- i wanted you to feel my pain

[herotypical]

[ buffy and spike have been out a-missioning -- only it hasn't gone quite as...merrily as they might have hoped. you see, they’re back a little early. spike decided to make an escape attempt and, in doing so, he’s brought malnosso justice down on both their heads. it’s all terribly unfair.

their punishment? one doozy of a bodyswap. spike is buffy and buffy is spike. and neither of them are too pleased about it.

sartre once claimed that 'hell is other people'; however, a situation like this makes a convincing argument that hell is, in fact, being other people. after they argue their way out of a proverbial wet paper bag and manage to find better clothing than the new feather garb they're initially given, they'll be available (throughout the next few days) to be mocked or sympathized with or awkwardly avoided all around town, depending on the individual.

find top comments below for either buffy's thread or spike's thread or -- if you’re looking for a thread with both of them -- buffy and spike. buffy’s tags will come from deadhero and spike’s tags will come from heroatypical. please don’t hesitate to tag all three options if that’ll float your boat. ]

Comments

[heroatypical]

[Problem? He shouldn't.

He really shouldn't.]

What problem?

[vor]

[He takes this to be stubbornness on her part. A sigh.] We've been over this. More than once.

[heroatypical]

Well let's go for the marathon. What problem?

[vor]

His...assumption that you and I were together?

[Gregor gets that something's very wrong, but he's definitely not putting "not actually Buffy" together from this.]

[heroatypical]

[Spike stares for a good long moment, before rolling his eyes and looking away.]

Figures, doesn't it? She must have half the sodding town in love with her.

[vor]

...What? Who?

[heroatypical]

[Shaking his head, he looked up at whatshisname.]

Sorry mate. Buffy? She's not home today.

[vor]

[...Right. Staring now.]

What happened?

[heroatypical]

The Malnosso, that's what happened. Caught us making a break for it. I'll give them credit for one thing. Pulling a bloody Freaky Friday on us is original.

[vor]

I'm...not sure what that is.

[heroatypical]

[He groaned.]

They swapped us, is what they did. Me in her, her in me.

[vor]

[He's sure that's not as dirty as it sounds.]

So you're...?

[heroatypical]

"Spike. The vampire." A beat. "We had a talk. Before on the journals."

[vor]

"I haven't forgotten." You don't usually forget your first vampire. "You both tried to escape?"

He's not convinced--Buffy's been here too long for that--but it doesn't show.

[heroatypical]

"No. She bloody held me up, is what she did. Managed to get the both of us caught."

He wasn't at a place he could accept the blame. Not yet.

[vor]

"Ah." Gregor's eyes tic toward his building with some longing. "How is she?"

[heroatypical]

"She's a vampire. That's how she is."

And a man, but the vampire part was likely the more difficult part.

[vor]

"Is she taking visitors?"

[heroatypical]

"Maybe. I don't know." What he wouldn't do for a smoke right now. He hated the rules he was stuck with. "Probably. If you fancy going to give her your condolences, anyway."

[vor]

"Sort of an exaggeration, isn't it? It's only temporary."

[heroatypical]

"That's the problem with you lot. Temporary everything. Don't need to lift a finger to fix a thing, do we? Just wait to let it wear off. Wait to be sent home. Wait for the key to sodding everything to fall in our laps. Maybe it isn't temporary. What use is a punishment if we're just inconvenienced a week?"

[vor]

He listens intently to this rant before speaking slowly. "Is it really that bad, being a vampire?"

[heroatypical]

"Well, it's not just embarrassment keeping her inside, is it?"

His eyes raised as he looked up towards the sun.